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This version of Calvinism has always made me picture an assembly line with little babies on it and God saying, “Yes, I’ll save that baby and that one, but not that one or that one. No reason.” This idea does not square with my idea of a loving God who died for everyone and, as Peter tells us, is not willing that any should perish.
The “assembly line” God is more nightmare than gospel.
Peter tells them, “You’ve all done well, but to get into Heaven I am going to need to interview each of you in private to make sure your qualified.” At this point the Baptist and Pentecostal are sweating bullets. So, they go into a small room and are in there for 6 hours. He walks down the road and comes to a huge golden door with the word PREDESTINATION written above it.
The father looked at his wife and beamed, “Well what do you know! ” A Baptist Man, a Pentecostal Woman, and a Calvinist all die and get to the gates of Heaven. Just as he is hurtling toward the street, around the 10th floor he is once again carried around the building and into the window. “Well, why not.” the Calvinist says, “I am a fan of providence, so I’ll try it.” He jumps over the balcony, plunges downward passes the 11th, 10th 9th, 8th, floors. Being a Calvinist and believing in predestination he takes the predestination road.